Friday, December 12, 2008

Why must the feminine men love me? lol

As homosexuality becomes more and more mainstream...it seems a negative side to it is that we gays are now emulating heterosexual behavior more than ever.

True, I want to get married; but I do not want to be the "man" and marry a gay male "woman."

It's true queens have been the backbone of the gay community. I appreciate them. I adore them. But I prefer my men masculine. Not just aesthetically but I find that gay men make horrible women. They take all the negatives and none of the positives of femininity. The penis is not that important to me. If i could stomach femininity I'd much rather marry or date my female friends. At least I'd have the tenderness and loyalty and intellect to go along side the mood swings and manipulative behavior.

I know that's pretty sexist to say. And maybe I shouldn't have gone "there." But I have always been attracted to the masculine. Not saying that masculinity is perfect. Masculinity can be stubborn, violent, angry, full of hate. But it is unfortunately what I am attracted to.

And unfortunately not being "fierce." Not being short, not being twiggy, (though i am quite smooth lol) my beard, my strong chest (tooting my own horn) my demeanor...it is not what the mainstream "butch" wants. The mainstream butch wants a mainstream femme. And the queens seem to like me.

Is there anyone out there who doesn't conform to hetero-sexist ideas of what a gay couple should be?

I do not want to support a twink and court her and deal with her mood swings and dramatic behavior. Noooo thank you. I just want an equal. Someone for who life is not a big joke. Or one year long white party. Where's my guy? Is he out there somewhere?

Hope so...been too long.

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